Parental Expectations, Filial Piety, and Children's Mental Health
By Claire Kietduriyakul’26, Daphne Wong’26
The concept of filial piety – a cultural custom in which younger family members must show love and respect to their elders – is highly emphasized in Asian and Buddhist families, underscoring the importance of obedience, respect, and honoring parents’ expectations. While the concept of filial piety enhances children’s desire to improve due motivation from their parents, this surplus pressure exacerbates children’s mental health, causing many Asian and Buddhist children to experience unhealthy mental strains.
It is indubitable that parents desire their children to prosper in life. Motivating and pressuring children to succeed encourages them to pursue academics, sports, music, and more to the best of their ability. However, overestimating childrens’ abilities and demanding them to surpass their own limits gives rise to anxiety and conflict, ultimately aggravating the children’s mental health.
These mental health problems created as a result of parents’ high expectations and demands cause children to overwork themselves, putting the need to satisfy their parents’ expectations above their own mental health. This behavior can have long-term effects and manifests in several ways. Most commonly, it fosters perfectionist tendencies. According to Thomas Curran, an assistant professor of psychological and behavioral science, perfectionism contributes to many psychological conditions, including depression, anxiety, self-harm and eating disorders. These conditions can eventually become a lifelong strain, making children become more neurotic and less conscientious as they get older. When criticizing a child’s inability to achieve success in any way, parents detriment their child’s self esteem, creating feelings of low self worth and inadequacy.
The link between meeting the expectations set by parents and showing respect to elders is deeply rooted in cultural and social norms, more seen in societies with a strong emphasis on filial piety. It’s important to acknowledge that while exceeding demands can be a way to pay respect, there is often an unhealthy balance between the two. Filial piety can negatively impact the well-being of children. Few studies have examined the relationship between filial piety and suicidality. Historically, countries that practice this concept carry a disproportionately high suicide rate compared to countries who do not practice filial piety. In predominantly Bhuddist communities, filial piety increases distress and a harsh, negative family environments, which increase depressive symptoms and suicidal behavior. Children’s need to meet their family’s unrealistic expectations in order to respect and honor their elders become extremely draining mentally.
Parent’s expectations and demands significantly impact children’s mental health. Though they can serve as a motivational drive to better oneself for personal growth and success, excessive and unrealistic demands lead to stress, anxiety and other mental health issues. Filial piety also complicates the relationship between a parent and a child, as it can lead to a delicate balance between cultural values and individual well-being. Feeling trapped in a cycle of trying to please their parents, it can often exacerbate the negative effects of high parental expectations. To ensure the well-being of children in a family with high demands, it is important to practice effective communication and understanding of one another.
Bibliography:
“The Impact of Parental Expectations on a Child’s Career Success.” 2023. Mindler Blog. April 8, 2023 https://www.mindler.com/blog/impact-parental-expectations/
Guo, Xiaolin, Junjie Li, Yingnan Niu, and Liang Luo. 2022. “The Relationship between Filial Piety and the Academic Achievement and Subjective Wellbeing of Chinese Early Adolescents: The Moderated Mediation Effect of Educational Expectations.” Frontiers in Psychology 13, no. March (March). https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.747296.
Curran, Thomas. 2022. “Rising Parental Expectations Linked to Perfectionism in College Students.” Apa.org. American Psychological Association. March 31,2022 https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2022/03/parental-expectations-perfectionism.
Lam, June Sing Hong, Paul S. Links, Rahel Eynan, Wes Shera, A. Ka Tat Tsang, Samuel Law, Wai Lun Alan Fung, Xiaoqian Zhang, Pozi Liu, and Juveria Zaheer. 2021. “‘I Thought That I Had to Be Alive to Repay My Parents’: Filial Piety as a Risk and Protective Factor for Suicidal Behavior in a Qualitative Study of Chinese Women.” Transcultural Psychiatry 59, no. 1 (December): 13–27. https://doi.org/10.1177/13634615211059708.
